It was the first Tuesday of November, a crisp thirty degrees, just as any other election day. Except while your annoying neighbor from New York City was busy boasting about committing mail-in voter fraud for Zohran Mamdani, a much more sinister plan was afoot. As students crossed Paresky Lawn, heading to their 8:30 am classes, one girl noticed something horrifying: the letter banners hanging on Chapin’s columns that once read “V O T E” now spelled a far more nefarious message

In a recent Haybale polling, students at the College reported reading less than ever before.  Professor Babe McDeedy in the English Department commented on the evolution of students’ reading habits during his tenure at the College: “Seminars have definitely become more dull. Even though I’ve been assigning less reading, students still do the work with the same amount of carelessness. Students simply don’t pay attention anymore. “I have no idea what to do. I’m at a loss for wo

We at the Haybale were stunned when we saw that the most recent Williams Record-KGB poll showed that over 70% of Williams students were not planning on voting for Zohran Mamdani. At this supposed liberal liberal arts safe haven, how could the majority stray so far from our expectations? Were they abstaining as a statement to the government? Were they planning to write in another candidate? I set out to find the true answer. My first hypothesis: Mamdani isn’t progressive enoug

It all started with a question. Or, rather, three questions. P? P? Why?   Papa Charlie’s Deli, local eatery known for its “deliciously overstuffed” sandwiches and adequately normal-stuffed bagels, has been a Spring Street staple for at least one year. But following its recent reopening, the establishment’s name continues to perplex the population. And we at the Haybale fear this reality may be a harbinger of something far more sinister. If it’s “papa” with an “a,” it should h

Mornings are for coffee and contemplation? BLEGH! Mornings are for waiting in a long-ass line at Goodrich while thinking about all the work you have to do that you have not done yet, while also checking the tiny little whiteboard to see what is out of stock so you know which of your favorite orders are actually plausible on a cold, chilling Williamstown morning. [The Williams Haybale Automatic Fact Checker: One might argue that this falls under the umbrella of “coffee and con

As Friends and Family Weekend at the College winds down, the Haybale looks back on some of the most memorable events of the weekend—namely, the unusually large turnout at what at first appeared to be an Alcoholics Anonymous group. Upon further investigation, however, our reporters discovered that it was indeed a support group—just not the kind we thought. Instead of supporting each other as recovering addicts, these parents had gathered together to support each other in an ar

The day? Saturday October 25, 2025. The weather? Rainy or maybe sunny or wait give it a minute now it’s hail. The place? Sage 1 Abortion (it rhymes) flex double. I was so excited for this weekend. I hadn’t seen my parents in so long. Since reading period, even. Two whole weeks. Little did I know how quickly my joy would dissipate into mist, joining that which lies over campus like a blanket but made of mist. When my roommate told me he would need the room from 12:34 to 12:41

Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t expecting him to build off of the build-off of the piggyback, but this caught me totally off guard. It was a Tuesday, 2:27pm Eastern Standard Time. The sky was clear. Too clear. In Hopkins 001, the basement air buzzed with a hushed hubbub—ENG 152 was about to start. I sauntered into class, cappuccino in hand, and sat in the innermost concentric circle of seats. That was my first mistake. After the day’s announcements, Professor split us up into sm

For the many Ephs paying attention to campus affairs this year, a new development has shaken our student organizations. FAST’s budget has...

In recent, devastating news, area friends Sarah Reeder ’26 and Corsa Pacquette ’26 face a hurdle, nay, a calamity, in an unexpected form:...

It used to be only Div I and Div II majors that didn’t understand Eco. But now it’s affecting us all. As we know, Div III majors are...

The box had a label that said ‘TNT,’ and I didn’t see any other labels on it,” explained Wellbutrin. “The tape had ripped off a bit, so I fi

The first time you wake up, knife to your throat, you think “wow, I hope this doesn’t stain my sheets.” You’re still not sure if your...

In an effort to bring issues of sexual inequality to light on the Williams Campus, the Record issued a survey asking women about their...

Hoxsey Halloween isn’t the only talk of the town this week. The Haybale can now exclusively report an upcoming closing sale at the...

“We are so fortunate to/for the wonderful folks at Applebees for sponsoring this year’s Mountain Day,” said President Maud Mandel in an...

Those posters in the window of the liquor store with the guy. There students here who are majoring in french That the tempo of a song...

Michael Drubs, ’26, woke up to quite the surprise on Saturday morning: 12 construction men in uniform tearing down his north wall,...

The box had a label that said ‘TNT,’ and I didn’t see any other labels on it,” explained Wellbutrin. “The tape had ripped off a bit, so I fi

Spring fling proved a success for all: students had a blast, CSS reported an unexpectedly low number of incidents, and prospective...