“Yeah, the idea just came to me,” said Polliwog Boglover ‘26, who spoke to the Haybale about her idea for Frog Quad. “I was like, what if...

President Maud Mandel announced Tuesday that, after reviewing the budget, she had realized the college had like, way too much money....

Departing from generations of dichotomous worldviews in learning, Glow Williams ‘26 has revealed that she is, in fact, a prospective...

Investigative reporters for the Williams Haybale have been vigilantly walking around on campus. A few weeks ago, two of our best and...

“I’m sure it’s just a coincidence,” said Crow Riley, ‘26. “I mean, Katie very specifically said there was no group chat.” Crow Riley...

Your Fresh n Go wrap tastes as it usually does, according to Haybale sources. All the ingredients ordered by you taste pretty normal. The...

While covering the college’s annual casino night, Haybale reporters noticed Charlie Clubs ’24 leaving the poker room in a rage, slamming...

This past week JA Buck Jarlsberg ‘24 came to believe over the past two months that a frosh in his entry, Brie Vorst ’26, was secretly a...

On Wednesday, October 26, your friend, Amelia Pen ‘24, canceled your meal plans for the fourth time in three days. Pen, citing a “last...

A spoonful of mashed potatoes. Six stalks of asparagus. A nub of steak. That’s all it took for Professor Jarvis to lose the respect of...

On October 19th, at 8:00am, 500 students received an email from President Maud Mandel identifying them as in the top 25% of miserable...

Hey you! Yes, you. I saw you from across Paresky and I was wondering if you had any plans for breakfast. No worries of course, but I have...

Reports emerged Wednesday of a minor disruption in Lees. Students noted the presence of what at first seemed to be a very small student...

Dear the Haybale, My move-in to college started just like anybody else’s—I carried my belongings up four flights of stairs in...

Last Wednesday, Junior Advisor Trey Pepper, responded to a wellness check on two of his frosh, after hearing reports of “really...

On Friday night, you received the great honor of being invited to dinner with your friend, Connor Goldspoon ‘23, and his parents, who...

Last Thursday, students across campus banded together to address what they saw as the College’s biggest and most pressing issue: turkey...

Today’s meeting of PHIL 491: Who The Fuck Do You Think You Are had to be ended 45 minutes early after some deeply insightful,...

In a recent announcement in the town square, Sheriff Maud proclaimed that the student who had so villainously snatched my jacket from the...

On Friday, February 25th, at 10:46pm, the Haystack received reports of three friends seen on the balcony of the Hopkins Observatory in...