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Joe Fox and Sam Mermin

Vaccine Shuttle Reportedly Just Your Podmate's Bike

Last week the College shared it’s plans to help students get vaccinated by doing absolutely nothing to help them get vaccinated except...

Lizzie High and Lucy Walker

"Wouldn't it be funny if we played 'Spin the Bottle?'" Jokes Podmate Who Isn't Joking

Last night, the pod occupying the fourth floor of Mark-Hopkins partook in the classic not-drinking-but-drinking-must-happen-before-you-p...

Sam Mermin

College Announces Cookies at Testing Site Were a Replacement for One of the Mental Health Days

This past Monday and Tuesday, students who visited the College’s COVID testing center were lucky enough to receive a free sugar cookie...

Lizzie High and Kevin Ryan

Report: I am the Most Fuckable Person in this Resky Brunch Line

After careful consideration, I have determined that by every metric both physical and immaterial I am the hottest motherfucker in a 4...

thewilliamshaystack

Op-ed: I still don’t know whether my class has a course packet

There are many assignments in an average Williams class. Some are essays. Some are mad minute math worksheets. Some are even where you go...

thewilliamshaystack

I’m a Campus Conservative, I Found a Tampon Wrapper in our Bathroom, and I’m Gonna Fucking Call CSS

Hey guys. It’s me. Greg. The campus conservative. I wrote a bunch of emails to the Haystack that just said “please,” or “let me speak”...

Melia Hagino

Vice Principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off Named New Director of CSS

Following the news of Campus Safety and Security Director Dave Boyer’s upcoming retirement, college administration were tasked with...

Kevin Ryan

JA You Suspect Might Be a Beaver a Little Too Ok With Your Suggestion of Woodchips For Sunday Snacks

“So uhhh, what about woodchips?” your eyes dart around the room as you pose the question, but there’s really only one response you care...

Sam Mermin

Fourth Prong of Mandel’s Public Health Model is “Suspense and Deception”

Yesterday The Haystack sat down with President Maud Mandel to discuss the College’s COVID containment strategy in the wake of several...

Asher Gladstone

Op-Ed: The Testing Site Has No Respect for Boogery Boys Like Me

Yes, you heard that right. I’m a bloody snot monster. Despite the discrimination I have faced my whole life, recently I have become proud...