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Unclear Where Skateboard Kid Going to Store Skateboard
The Williams Haystack has committed itself to investigative reporting, uncovering the hidden secrets of campus. From investigations into...
Lucy Walker
Nov 10, 2020
Report: Two Friends Appear to Be Wearing Masks but Passing a Lollipop Back and Forth
Frosh Quad was empty and quiet yesterday afternoon, save for two students walking across the grass. Both wore N-95 masks, goggles, hoods,...
The Haybale
Nov 9, 2020
COVID By the Numbers: Honeydew Consumption up 85%, Sex Down 48%
Student life at Williams has undergone dramatic changes this fall, so reporters at The Haystack sent out a survey to see just exactly how...
Max Stein
Nov 7, 2020
Op-Ed: I Have Never Eaten a Vegetable at Williams
Hi, Williams, it’s me, Jason. And I’m here to tell you about how I have never eaten a vegetable at Williams. First and foremost, I will...
Max Stein
Nov 5, 2020
PoliSci Major Announces Plan to Push Back on That, If He May
Capitalizing on a “lull” in the conversation characterized by three consecutive comments from people other than himself, Political...
Sam Mermin
Nov 2, 2020
The Haybale
Oct 31, 2020
The Haybale
Oct 31, 2020
The Haybale
Oct 31, 2020
Report: SAAC Inexplicably Does Not Plan to Change its Name
Williams College’s Student Athlete Advisory Committee announced today that it will not be changing its name. The official announcement...
The Haybale
Oct 29, 2020
How Am I Supposed to Pull Over Zoom When Everyone Can See My Unmade Bed
With so much of the college experience being relegated to an online space this semester, students are facing new and unprecedented...
Kevin Ryan
Oct 27, 2020
Unused Thompson Chapel to be converted into Spirit Halloween™
With the Halloween season approaching and the College strapped for cash because of the recent economic downturn, the administration has...
Lucy Walker
Oct 26, 2020
Breaking News: I Can't Fucking Do This Anymore
The investigation was first opened when it was discovered that I was just straight up leaving Zoom meetings in the middle because I didn’t w
Melia Hagino and Lucy Walker
Oct 26, 2020
Zig-Zagging Whitman’s Line Will Be Used for Sobriety Tests
Starting on Friday, October 23, CSS will begin conducting random sobriety tests on weekends to ensure student safety. With a large...
Asher Gladstone
Oct 24, 2020
College Supplies Each Individual Student with Alcohol to Ensure Social Distancing
Williams College, a school filled with students who actually believe money is real and decide to major in it, study exclusively on Sunday...
Shenba Vairavan
Oct 23, 2020
Prof. Really Believes Online Format is Only Reason Nobody Wants to Chat With Him at Start of Class
"You can unmute yourselves. Wow, it’s so hard doing this on Zoom. Please unmute yourselves"
Sam Mermin
Oct 21, 2020
Missed Connection: Girl Seeking White Guy, Brown Hair
You were standing 4 and a half feet in front of me in line for lunch at Driscoll. You were wearing dark wash jeans, dirty-ass sneakers, a...
The Haystack
Oct 20, 2020
Bikes are Stupid and You Look Stupid Riding Yours
Am I going to lose friends by writing this? Yes. Am I still going to say it with my whole chest? Absolutely. It needs to be said. Unless...
Mati Rogers
Oct 19, 2020
Sandstrom Urges Students Deciding About Spring Sem. to Remember the White Walkers are Marching South
Yesterday’s fun, silly, non-stern email from Marlene Sandstrom to the student body included a helpful list of factors students might want...
Sam Mermin
Oct 17, 2020
How Can the College Continue to Justify Funding an Equestrian Team That Doesn’t Share Their Ketamine
In the latest of a series of puzzling and, frankly, outrageous moves, Williams College will continue to fund the equestrian team even in...
Kevin Ryan
Oct 16, 2020
Geos Department Uncovers Gay Fossils
A team from the Williams College Geoscience Department made history this week by unearthing the first gay fossils to ever be found in...
Melia Hagino
Oct 13, 2020
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