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A Review of "Jeremy," the Boy Your Sister Brought Home for the Holidays
In a time when any distraction from the monotony of existence is a rare and delightful commodity, the premiere of a new houseguest brings...
Melia Hagino
Dec 21, 2020


"Day Drinking," "Fuck Crafts," and Other Rejected Free University Courses
Fuck Crafts Instructor: Amelia Donk Instructor contact: abd2@williams.edu Sign-up Information: https://forms.gle/KhdE5qXzeZ9aNsAB9 Course...
Asher Gladstone
Dec 16, 2020


Haystack on the Phone: WEPO Director Clark Corker
After deciding to go forward with an in-person experience, the Williams College Exeter Programme at Oxford, which dates back to 1985, had...
The Editorial Board
Dec 14, 2020


Kevin Ryan
Dec 14, 2020


English Major Indistinguishable from Beaten Paperback Book He’s Holding
A Haystack interview got off to a bad start yesterday when our reporter spent the first three minutes of a Zoom call staring silently at...
Sam Mermin
Dec 11, 2020


President Mandel Unveils Her Spotify Wrapped, Top Artist is 100 gecs
In an attempt to relate to the Williams student body and to make sure everyone knows how fucking sick her music taste is, President Maud...
Sara Stebbins
Dec 9, 2020


Breaking: Your Mom Loves The Crown, Thinks You Could Really Learn Something From It
Recently your mom reached out to Haystack reporters to let them know how good she thinks this season of The Crown is. Obviously, she’s...
The Haybale
Dec 8, 2020


One Semester, Ten Cases: Sorry I Gave You Chlamydia
To all my fellow Ephs, I have a confession to make. It has been fourteen weeks since students first arrived on campus for the fall...
Sam Mermin and Kevin Ryan
Dec 7, 2020


Students Returning Home Facing Harsh New Realities, Fewer Mustards on Chicken
A recent Haystack survey has found that more than 200 students returned home this month to find that their parents’ culinary expertise...
Max Stein
Dec 4, 2020


Professor of Mathematics Steven Miller Flags 100,000 Lost “Best Kiss” Teen Choice Award Ballots
In a sworn declaration, Professor of Mathematics Steven Miller said his analysis of voter data and phone interviews with Teen Choice...
Darlie Kerns
Dec 3, 2020


Football player to study a broad as long as he gets to pick which one
Derrick Myers ‘22 was sure that his chances for studying abroad his junior year were over when the COVID-19 pandemic hit. Much to his...
Lucy Walker
Dec 1, 2020


This Black Friday, Administration Selling Frosh Quad Lego Sets For Students Missing College
Williams students are celebrating an early holiday surprise with the announcement of something very exciting: a Lego set modeled after...
Lizzie High
Nov 27, 2020


“What are you planning to do with that?” Asks Dad on Degree, Brother on Unfinished Pie
Ethan Cutler ‘23 returned to his home in Scarsdale on Saturday only to discover that he would spend the next two months responding to a...
Max Stein
Nov 26, 2020


Op-Ed: My New Roommates Suck, Won’t Let Me Hang Up My LED Strip Lights in Our Common Room
Dear The Haystack, I’m not sure what to do about my new roommates and I was wondering if you could help. I just moved in with these...
Melia Hagino and Lucy Walker
Nov 25, 2020


Semester Not as Bad as Anticipated, Reports Kid Who Straight Up Didn’t Follow the Rules
With the end of the on-campus portion of the semester, The Haystack decided to take a look at how the student body felt about their...
Asher Gladstone
Nov 23, 2020


Students Welcome to Stay in Rooms Over Break if They Put Themselves in Large, Taped-up Cardboard Box
In an email sent late in the morning on Nov 16, Doug Schiazza clarified that students will be allowed to remain in their rooms from...
Max Stein
Nov 21, 2020


College Must Investigate if Students are Selling Hard Drugs and Whether They'd Sell Some to Us
The College’s refusal to look into the possibility of drug dealers on campus is irresponsible, dangerous, and, frankly, irresponsible. In...
Sam Mermin and Kevin Ryan
Nov 20, 2020


“I’m Going to Tunnel to do Work,” Says You, Lying
On any afternoon in the beautiful autumn of the pristine purple valley, Williams students can be seen frolicking between campus buildings...
Max Stein
Nov 20, 2020


We Tried to Talk to the Art History Grad Students and They Shot Us With a Crossbow
As a last-ditch effort to recruit more cultured staff members, this past weekend The Haystack reached out to the most sophisticated group...
Melia Hagino and Mati Rogers
Nov 19, 2020


Due to Another Staff Error, Donald Trump Gives a Speech From a Concession Stand
Last night on every TV network, the soon-to-be-former president spoke to the nation from in front of a tent that appeared to be selling...
Jacob Lehmann Duke
Nov 19, 2020
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