Op-Ed: What If We Ate a Whitman’s Banana Bonanza Pancake Lady and the Tramp-Style
Hey you! Yes, you. I saw you from across Paresky and I was wondering if you had any plans for breakfast. No worries of course, but I have...
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The Williams Haybale
- Oct 18, 2022
Toddler In Lee’s Walking Around, Eating Curly Fry, Like He Pays Tuition Or Something
Reports emerged Wednesday of a minor disruption in Lees. Students noted the presence of what at first seemed to be a very small student...
thewilliamshaystack
- Oct 3, 2022
Ask The Haybale: Guy From Entry Thinks He’s Living In Orphanage From Oliver!, Keeps Asking For Gruel
Dear the Haybale, My move-in to college started just like anybody else’s—I carried my belongings up four flights of stairs in...
Lizzie High and Lucy Walker
- Sep 14, 2022
Roommates Determined To Tuck Each Other In Caught In Endless Cycle, Haven’t Slept In Days
Last Wednesday, Junior Advisor Trey Pepper, responded to a wellness check on two of his frosh, after hearing reports of “really...
Sam Mermin
- Apr 23, 2022
Rich Friend's Mom Describes 300-Dollar Dining Experience At Williams Inn As "Charming"
On Friday night, you received the great honor of being invited to dinner with your friend, Connor Goldspoon ‘23, and his parents, who...
Lucy Walker
- Apr 16, 2022
Students Petition To Make Turkey Vultures 30% Smaller, Citing “Too Big”
Last Thursday, students across campus banded together to address what they saw as the College’s biggest and most pressing issue: turkey...
Sam Mermin
- Mar 8, 2022
Stoner Kid In Your Philosophy Class Posits All Of Us Are Wearing Masks All The Time, Actually
Today’s meeting of PHIL 491: Who The Fuck Do You Think You Are had to be ended 45 minutes early after some deeply insightful,...
Kevin Ryan
- Mar 6, 2022
Report: The College Finds Kid Who Took My Coat At 66 Guilty Of Heinous Crimes
In a recent announcement in the town square, Sheriff Maud proclaimed that the student who had so villainously snatched my jacket from the...
Lizzie High and Lucy Walker
- Mar 5, 2022
Group Of Friends Sneaks Up To Observatory Deck, Reports Feeling Rebellious, 10 Feet Off The Ground
On Friday, February 25th, at 10:46pm, the Haystack received reports of three friends seen on the balcony of the Hopkins Observatory in...
Sophie Bellwoar
- Feb 27, 2022
Housing Crisis: Friend Group Opts For Mouse Named Stuart Little Over You As Their Sixth Housing Pick
Well how do ya feel now? Can’t feel great, I bet. Yea, they chose a rat over you. And word has it they’re picking into East, which...
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