top of page

Toddler In Lee’s Walking Around, Eating Curly Fry, Like He Pays Tuition Or Something

Reports emerged Wednesday of a minor disruption in Lees. Students noted the presence of what at first seemed to be a very small student in the Lee dining hall (the one with all the wood and booths). Upon further investigation, however, reports confirmed that the source of the disturbance was in fact a toddler. Students noted feeling unsettled and disturbed.

“I was like, what are you doing here?” said Dasha Belokobova ’23. “This is a college for college students. And you’re a baby.” Belokobova reported that the baby had handed her a toy phone. “I was like, ‘what am I supposed to do with this?’” Other students expressed similar sentiments.

“It’s just like, why are you, as a baby, in here?” wondered Jackson Small ’24. “I’m not used to that. I don’t like that. Babies don’t go here. I go here.”

The toddler revealed himself to be Buddy Glick, the son of a geoscience professor, who “had to run to get something from his car.” leaving Haybale reporters, big kids, with the baby.

When asked to comment on what made him so special, anyway, Glick said “cuwy fwy” and then put his whole mouth on the table. When further asked for comment, Glick declined to respond. Instead he pushed several cheerios around the table and struggled to pick each individual one up. Also he had jam on his mouth.

Several students called CSS when Glick rose from his high chair and started running around. “He just, like, ran up to our booth and stared at us,” said Sophie Bellwoar ’24. “Like he just kept looking at us. And then he put his whole hand in his mouth.” Others claimed they didn’t mind there was a little guy running around. “I don’t mind that he was here!” Said Jack Frank ’23. “I like babies. It’s like ‘what?’ You’re here now. I even got to go to my friend and be like “look, there’s a baby in here.” And then my friends are like, huh. That’s different.” We watched Frank do a big wave to Glick. The baby did not wave back.

Professor Chris Glick subsequently returned to pick up his kid. When asked for comment on why he was letting a baby run wild in a student dining hall, he said “why are you holding him upside down by his ankles?”


bottom of page