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The Haybale
May 10, 2020


Student Getting Overconfident At Home With No Social Interactions to Fuck Up
While the current weeks-long quarantine and impending end of the world have been less than pleasant for many, one student has found this...
The Haybale
Apr 26, 2020


Inspiring! This Woman Only Stared at the Wall for 23 Minutes Instead of Usual 45
If you’re in need of some inspiration today, look no further. Two days ago, Sally Waterson ‘22 broke a personal record. Instead of...
The Haybale
Apr 8, 2020


1 in 2000: Only Student Who Finally Had Everything Figured Out
While worldwide the worldwide chaos of an unprecedented pandemic has been stressful and disruptive for many, one student in particular...
The Haybale
Mar 27, 2020


New Glossier Product Just a Small Jar of Water
Needle reporting has uncovered that the new Glossier product that Audrey Daniels ‘21 ordered while quarantined in her house is nothing...
The Needle
Mar 25, 2020


Scott Lewis Confused By Slight Decrease in Students Attending Sunrise Hike
Last Friday morning brought a nasty surprise for Williams’ Dean of Outside Time, Scott Lewis, who returned from a three-week stay in...
The Haybale
Mar 23, 2020


Parents Assumed You’d Never Actually Take Them Up on That Whole “Come Home Any Time” Thing
“Fuck,” said Karen Polowski, ‘P21. “Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.” After two days of distracting herself with heartwarming family sentiments,...
The Haybale
Mar 21, 2020


Haystack Food Review: Taco Tuesday Solved Racism
4.9/5 The Haystack is pleased to announce that we will be beginning our highly-anticipated and much-discussed food review series. To kick...
The Haybale
Mar 10, 2020


“So what classes are you taking?” Asks You, Panicking
An investigative report from The Haystack has found that one student on this campus is totally incapable of positive, non-awkward social...
The Haybale
Mar 8, 2020


The Haystack Finalizing Deal to Purchase The Record
It is with great excitement that we announce today that The Haystack is nearing a deal to purchase The Williams Record. As long standing...
The Haybale
Mar 4, 2020


Haystack Hires Field Reporter
In our first major edition to our staff since we hired Adam Falk as our political correctness consultant, the Haystack has added Raggedy...
The Haybale
Mar 1, 2020


WEPO Application Just Fight to the Death
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 20th, HOPKINS HALL -- “Fucking bite his ear off!” shouted an ebullient Dean Dave Johnson as two of the week’s most...
The Haybale
Feb 28, 2020


Last Resort for 2021 Housing Emergency: Extra Bedrooms in Douglas Schiazza’s House
Due to the increasing danger of traveling abroad and the completely unforeseen possibility of a three month period during which all the...
The Haybale
Feb 26, 2020


BREAKING: Haystack has Uncovered Secret “Eating Without Swiping” Ring in Mission Park
On last Friday, February 21st, The Haystack made its most damning discovery yet. And that’s saying a lot.
The Haybale
Feb 23, 2020


The Needle
Feb 21, 2020


Brave: This Girl Applied to be A WOOLF Leader Despite Having No Stickers on Her Nalgene Water Bottle
We here at The Needle love to feature strong, independent women who break barriers. Alexandra Davis ‘23, fits the bill perfectly. After...
The Needle
Feb 21, 2020


Letter to the Editor: My Boob Fell out During This Chemistry Final and I Don’t Know What to Do
Dear Editor, I’m writing in with a sticky situation that I’m not exactly sure how to remedy. I am currently writing to you from my...
The Needle
Feb 21, 2020


I Don’t Care That Athletes Aren’t Smart Enough to be Here Because I Want to Have Sex With Them
The topic of athletic recruitment has inspired heated debates among Williams students that center the question “What are the priorities...
The Needle
Feb 21, 2020


J.K. Rowling Announces Maud Mandel is Gay
J.K. Rowling surprised students and fans of Williams College this week by announcing that the College’s beloved President, Maud Mandel,...
The Haybale
Feb 16, 2020


"I Finally Feel Like I Can Claim Williams," Says Student With Building Named After Them
On the first Thursday of the spring semester each year, the College holds “Claiming Williams Day,” an event geared towards helping...
The Haybale
Feb 10, 2020
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