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Guy in Your WGSS Seminar Is, Like, so Woke

While college is full of opportunities to expand your mind and learn from people with diverse perspectives, Trent Cunningham ‘23, a guy in your WGSS seminar, is doing it better than everyone else. When asked to introduce himself on day one, Cunningham said “the name given to me is Trent, but you can call me whatever makes you feel safe. My pronouns, and I apologize in advance, are He/Him/His.” This was the first and last time Cunningham spoke for three weeks, until Professor Lewis informed him that he was verging on a failing participation grade for the quarter.

Cunningham told our Haystack reporter: “I don’t want to talk over any womxn. I am the embodiment of tyranny in the flesh. I hate myself,” in response to the question “What are you hoping to get out of the class?” Still, Cunningham’s participation picked up in October, when he started yelling “you are valid” after each female student made a point.

“Once I sneezed and Trent said ‘I hear you, I support you, and believe you have worth’ which was nice to hear because before that I thought I didn’t have worth,” said student Eva Weinberg. Though he doesn’t always realize it, Cunningham often physically levitates during class because his brain power and respect for females is too much for his small, small, body.

Cunningham further proved his woke boy status by writing the most perfect midterm paper Professor Lewis has ever seen. “Though I can’t talk about the rest of his paper without bursting into tears, his final sentence ‘I’m a monster, for the love of GOD take away my rights,’ profoundly changed the way I approach my pedagogical practice. I’m forever grateful for the way this man has influenced my life,” said Lewis. The college plans to award him an honorary plaque at the end of the semester, and plans to name a study room in his honor.


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