The unique and unprecedented nature of this year has altered almost every aspect of our lives. The future is uncertain, and campus may never again look the same as it has in the past. Next year, we will all have to find new ways to connect socially, intellectually, and maybe even physically.
With the rapid progress being made in vaccine distribution, a return to normalcy seems more likely, but will our lives and relationships truly be the same? What lessons will we carry forward from this year? What behaviors might we change forever? Will anyone want to have sex with me? The final question seems the most interesting.
As I understand it, many people are doing less sex than they used to. Over 80 percent of Williams students claim they are having less sex than they otherwise would. To my knowledge, over 800 women on campus this semester chose not to have sex with me or any of my podmates except for Steven. Though not a perfect indicator of this drop in intimacy, Dominos also reported a record high number of orders of “One cheesy bread, extra marinara. Make it snappy this is all I have.”
We have all had to rediscover intimacy throughout this challenging year. I, for one, have shifted from masturbating alone in my room after a day of in-person classes to masturbating alone in my room after a day of Zoom classes. How I might shift again next semester remains to be seen. In an ideal world, I will get to try sex. For example, with a girl? Who knows what the world holds!
As we emerge into the next phase of our lives, it is incumbent upon us to seize the day and make the world we’ve always wanted to see. For some, this will mean focusing on art, or work, or squash practice, but in my case, I will do my best to have sex for the first time. It is a year of possibility!
We all have a chance to be new people this coming semester. Better people. Kinder people. People who have sex. And sure, I haven’t changed my habits of drinking too much, making dumb jokes that alienate all of my friends, and spiraling down a deep dark hole of self hatred, but 2021 is a new year! And yeah, I’ve been told that I am “objectively rude and unpleasant to be around on account of the way I treat other people,” but who’s to say what the world will look like after all this pandemic craziness, amirite!