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I Lived It: My Girlfriend Took a Feminist Poetry Class and Won’t Do My Laundry Anymore

By Lak Ross

Hey. Super duper stoked to be writing about, like, a serious problem that I think we should be talking about as a community. Also if you have any of the same problems slide into my dms (@laxdaddy23) and I'll add you to me and the boys’ group chat.

Anyway, i told my girl she could do whatever she wanted, because whenever i say that, we have sex. it’s cool. but she took feminist poetry. which i thought was a little weird because she doesn’t hate men. why would she be a feminist?

Now she doesn’t shut up...”Audre Lorde this, some other lady that.” I asked a few of my boys what their shawties were taking and they all said stuff like psych. i want to date a psych major, i bet she could read my mind in bed.

Last semester we had a deal, me and Caren: I didn’t ask her to make me a sandwich (even though we have access to a kitchen), and she’ll do and fold the laundry, make the bed, pick out my clothes for the next morning, have sex with me everyday, and pack me snacks for my workouts.

Now, after this class, she doesn’t want to do my laundry anymore! What am I supposed to do? Separate my laundry, throw them in the laundry, toss a tide pod in there (yuh sponsor me tide), turn it on, wait 37 minutes, throw it in the laundry, use an organic wool dryer ball (instead of a dryer sheet because that’s really bad for the environment), and then grab my clothes, fold them the Marie Kondo way, and then celebrate with some champagne and a hot shower? I don’t know how to do my laundry!

Now I beg Caren to do my laundry. It’s almost like she Caren’t. So I guess what I am saying is...does anyone want to do my laundry. I can give you 3 inches of heaven and

access to my dad’s yacht. Well only on Saturdays and Sundays.

Okay, um thanks! Follow me on soundcloud. It’s also @laxdaddy23.


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