It’s early fall in Williamstown and you are over it. Every day, it’s the same. Wake up. Go to the bathroom. It’s out of toilet paper. Go wipe in Paresky. Go to Goodrich. Wait in line. They’re out of chai. Steal a gallon of milk to make yourself feel better. Go to lab. No one’s there. They’re out of students. You’re three hours late. You study in Sawyer. “Um, actually we have this room reserved…” You go down to the rivers. Fish with your bare hands for a couple of hours. Catch nothing. Go home. Do it all over again. You wait in long lines for everything, take notes standing up in the back of crowded lecture halls, mourn your stolen Lee’s order — what goes around, comes around, milk thief — it’s a never ending rat race. You just want a way to escape.
And that’s why you turn to the hoof trimming videos. They appear on your FYP and… something changes. The soothing sounds of the countryside, the peaceful calm of those majestic beasts. The skilled hands of the farmer and his southern drawl make you feel safe, seen, protected, sublime. Every time a horse gallops away, healed, with red hot horseshoes and a new lease on life, you feel that you can do anything. You’ll get that fish tomorrow, for sure.
But you already know all that. That’s not why you’re here. You’re tired of the daily grind distracting you from what’s important. How can you give the horses your full attention when you’ve got class in the morning and have to spill ketchup on your pants at Snar tonight? We at the Haybale understand. We see you. Yes, you, horse person.
We have a few tried and true methods to help you integrate your beloved hoof trimming content into your itinerary.
A classic, perfect for the more casual horse lover: change your major. The Horse Major. Williams is known for its flexible and accommodating academic structure and will absolutely let you combine computer science and Horse. Your classes? Horse. Your discussion posts? Horse. Your TA Hours? Tiktok literacy. It’s progressive, it’s unique, and you’ll be getting your degree in the process. We’re the number one LAC in the country (according to Forbes) for a reason.
Alternatively, drop a class. Senior spring is a great time for those missing credits anyway. Take back your you-time with this shift in your schedule: class time is hoof trimming time, and hoof trimming time is friends time. Remember them? Friends? With only three classes you can spend hours on the screen and in the real world. Maybe they’ll even watch a custom shoeing with you.
Finally, why not ditch the screen? Get the real world experience you’ve always dreamed of. Seeing is believing. And these horses are your religion. It’s time to find your people. Start a club, The Club With The Horse Club. No, not the equestrian club. The Club With The Horse Club. This will be the perfect avenue to truly experiencing all that the horses have to offer. Get club money. Horse money. Get your own horse! He can live with you in your dorm room. From there, you and your fellow trimming enthusiasts can take turns doing… general horse stuff. Oh… you’re not quite sure how to trim a horse’s hoof. Or how to take care of one. Is it really going to live in your room? There’s no turning back now. You can’t return a horse. His name is Keith.
You know what? Better stick to the videos. You can get a horse when you’re ready for the responsibility.