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Shayna Podhoretz

May 5

Student in Paresky Slips on Banana Peel, Anvil Falls on Head

The box had a label that said ‘TNT,’ and I didn’t see any other labels on it,” explained Wellbutrin. “The tape had ripped off a bit, so I fi

Amita Khurana

Apr 29

bbno$, Y2K, Yung Gravy to Enroll at Williams This Fall

Spring fling proved a success for all: students had a blast, CSS reported an unexpectedly low number of incidents, and prospective...

Jackson Small and Shreya Seshadri

Apr 19

Dedication: Men Carry Large Wooden Table Over Mountain, Through Stream To Play Extra Picturesque Game Of Pong

The time: 2:25pm. The place: Hoxsey Street. The tunes: Metro Boomin. Three friends, Ryan Smith, Jack Grant, and Nico Place, all ‘24, woke...

Shayna Julianne and Amita Khurana

Apr 17

Faculty To Vote On Eliminating Letter Grades For First-Years, Placing Looks Rating Out Of Ten On Transcript

With a rising emphasis on mental health, students proposed the elimination of first-year grades to ease the transition into life at...

Shreya Seshadri

Apr 14

Report: College To Sabotage Previews Programming In Hopes Of Preventing 2028 Over Enrollment

A leaked series of emails between the Admissions Office and College President Maud S. Mandel revealed startling developments that the...

Lizzie High

Apr 8

Field Trip! Computer Science Professor Takes Class To WCMA For Some Reason

This week, CSCI 368: Foundations of Principles of the Principles of Computer Programming took one lecture session out of their week to...

Rebecca Call

Mar 14

Report: Girl With Armpit Hair Is Cooler Than You

You, yes, you. You, with your little shrimp slump from the weight of the five course packets (unread) in your backpack. You, with your...

Lizzie High

Feb 19

Report: Friend With Paper Due This Week Will Somehow Make It Your Problem

Sunday brunch, Mission Park, 12:10 PM. In front of a plate of cold eggs and potatoes, Jack Maggle ‘25 lowers his head to his hands. “Fuck...

Claire Tolliver

Feb 13

Ask The Haybale: What Smooth Moves Can I Pull Today To Score A Date By Tonight?

It's that time of year when love is in the air, and I know what you are thinking. How am I going to win over that special someone? How...

Lizzie High

Dec 11, 2023

Concerning: Williams Ski Patrollers To Earn Commission For Each Rescue In The Upcoming Ski Season

In a surprising turn of events, the Williams College ski patrollers will earn commission for each on-mountain injury they respond to....